The One That Got Away
by afaithfulwriter890
Summary: 10 years after their terrible break up, Carlisle and Esme meet again at their class reunion. Both are now married, but recall the dreadful mistake that separated them. Can they finally be together, or will they be the other's "the one that got away"?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_Someone said you had your tattoo removed_

_Saw you downtown singing the Blues_

_It's time to face the music_

_I'm no longer your muse_

_But in another life_

_I would be your girl_

_We'd keep all our promises_

_Be us against the world_

_In another life_

_I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say_

_You were the one that got away_

_The one that got away_

_"The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry_

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><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

Charles had one hand at his side and the other on my ass. We were walking to my class reunion for God's sake and he couldn't keep his damn hands off me for one goddamn night? I tried to keep my fake grin plastered on my face and my eyes bright and cheerful, but my eyes were beginning to betray me and narrow into that glare I longingly wanted to give Charles.

I wasn't always so cold and harsh. I was never really pessimistic until I met my husband. I used to be happy, vivacious, optimistic… but Charles had beaten all of that out of me. I had no more happiness left inside me… Maybe I didn't have any even before Charles got a hold of me… Maybe… Maybe it had all left with… _him._

Shaking my head I tried to focus on where were headed. We had arrived at a country club deep within the town of the small city, Forks in Washington... the state. Yep, this is where I grew up—dark, dreary, rainy, cold, lifeless, hopeless, dream-crushing, full-of-boys-that-will-rip-your-heart-out-and-cheat-on-you-with-other-women-while-you're-taking-medication-for-something-he-gave-you-during-premarital-sexual-intercouse Washington.

At the end of the ornate hallway that's walls were cluttered with pictures that ranged from impressionistic to realistic to abstract paintings, we reached a large banquet hall. Inside were all of my classmates from my senior year. I glanced around nervously. _Good,_ I thought. _It's not here yet._

Charles, whom I'd met in college and was a few years older than me, seemed severely out of place. "Want punch?" he grunted. Well, at least he was _trying_ to be a gentleman. When I asked him to try and be a gentleman tonight, he kind of just gave me this blank stare as if that word didn't register in his brain. It's probably not even in his vocabulary up in that cluttered, unorganized, drunken mess he calls a brain.

"Sure," I muttered and watched him as he stalked off to the punch bowl. I turned away from him and kept my eyes on the door. After a minute of staring, IT came waltzing in the doorway with that little slut he cheated on me with clinging to my arm.

IT scanned the room smiling until he saw me. I knew that I looked fairly hot—I wore a lavender dress that was very low cut on top that showed a lot of skin and my caramel-colored hair was curled and cascading along my shoulders. Throughout the time I was out of high school, I had maintained my figure since Charles and I never had any kids and I always paid attention to my body and weight. IT's jaw dropped a little as he stared at me, whether he was shocked I showed up, or just amazed at how little I'd changed, I didn't know.

IT hadn't changed much either. He grew a little but still had a medium-built and was slender with muscles in all the right places. I knew that if he took off his sport-jacket and white button-down shirt, he'd still have a six-pack like he used to. He had blond hair that he still curled back in a styled look, and very blue eyes that always softened my stone-cold heart. Even though his blue eyes locked with mine, my heart had hardened to the point where not even his beautiful gaze could soften it.

IT was Carlisle Cullen.

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><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

My wife Tanya and I were led into a large banquet hall where many of our classmates from high school were already assembled. Tanya had already spotted a group of her old girl-friends, and I was looking for my old football buddies, but saw someone I never wanted to see again. Standing in clear view of the entrance was Esme Platt.

My jaw dropped—she didn't look any different—hotter even! She wore a light purple dress that was cut like a V on the top exposing a little of my old friends. Her brown eyes that had been once been full of life and warmth were now hard and scorching like cinders as they stared at me. She had maintained her gorgeous figure, all this time though. I never thought that I would be seeing her again.

I remembered what had happened that broke us apart. Shooting a glance at Tanya, I felt that ever-present anger I harbored since the night Esme left me rise up in my chest. Every time I thought of this, I hated Tanya more and more… It wasn't my fault she got pregnant… Well maybe it was, but she was the one who swore she was on birth control in the first place… Oh hell, Esme had every right to hate me.

A part of me wanted to go up to my ex-girlfriend and talk to her, another wanted to pull her into my arms and beg for her forgiveness, and still another wanted to scream at her for not understanding. But I knew that she was right. She was always right…

Tanya slipped something into my pocket before walking away to the ladies room. I furtively glanced down at it while pulling it slightly out of my pocket and frowned. It was a condom. Well she was bored and wanted some "playtime" as she called it. I wasn't in the mood for this. I really wasn't.

Deciding to leave her hanging, I made my way over to Esme. The closer I got, the more I realized that I wanted to drag _her_ into the bathroom and use this condom with. "Hello," I murmured, my voice hoarse partially from fear.

She didn't even acknowledge me, just turned around, looking for someone. A moment later, a tall, tan man with dark brown hair with a rectangular face and jaw strode up to her. He wrapped on arm around her waist and handed her a drink. Esme smiled slightly and kissed the man's cheek. They both wore wedding rings.

The man looked at me, almost suspiciously. "Friend of yours?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. He mistook me for someone else, honey."

The man nodded curtly at me. "Charles Evenson," he said, holding out his hand.

I resisted the urge to narrow my eyes. He had to be Esme's husband. I was repulsed that he actually wanted to shake my hand, but did as he wanted and shook it. "Carlisle Cullen."

Esme let out a disgusted noise and looked away, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. I don't know what it was about me that disturbed her so much. But I was greatly humbled as I remembered what happened… What I did to her…

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><p>AN: This is my new fanfic. Carlisle and Esme are in their late twenties now and are at their high school class reunion when they run into each other once more after their terrible break up in their senior year. Esme is full of bitterness and hate toward her ex-boyfriend, while Carlisle is remorseful and desperate for her forgiveness, and her body. Both are now married, but can they find away to be together, or will they end up being the other's "one that got away" Please R & R! :D


	2. Part 1: Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

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><p><strong>Part One - Ten Yea<strong>**rs Ago**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_I let it fall, my heart,_

_And as it fell you rose to claim it_

_It was dark and I was over you_

_Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_

_My hands, they're strong_

_But my knees were far too weak,_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet_

_But there's a side to you_

_That I never knew, never knew._

_All the things you'd say_

_They were never true, never true,_

_And the games you play_

_You would always win, always win._

_"Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele_

_**Carlisle**_

I waited outside of the English room where Mrs. Hill was still giving her lecture about Hawthorne. Esme was still inside, probably bored to death, but I shouldn't say that—Esme liked English. She always talked about being a writer one day. I admired her for that; I could never write anything, and I sucked at essays. My chemistry class with Mr. Meyer let out early so I decided to come and wait for Esme.

When the bell rang, a throng of students emerged from the English classroom, most likely fleeing for their lives from Mrs. Hill's deranged talk of symbolism in every single word of his books. I remembered when I took her class last year—I only remembered it because I hated it so thoroughly.

Esme came out last, her nose buried in a book. It was the "The Scarlet Letter" the book they were most likely reading for class. I was surprised that this close to graduation the teachers still had us up to our necks in homework. I wrapped my arms around her waist from the side and pulled her into my chest. I kissed her neck and then worked my way up to her ear. "Do you like reading about adultery? I'm up for some right now, if you want," I whispered darkly in her ear, then nibbling on her earlobe.

She giggled, unaffected by my urgency for her body. Esme and I had only ever done it once and that was on a weekend when my parents were out of town. I was a total playboy, but Esme was more of a traditional gal. I wanted nothing more than at that moment to pull her into the boy's bathroom and have my way with her in one of the stalls. I felt my easily excited member grow hard and brush against her thigh. She wore a sleeveless pink top with lace around the chest and a miniskirt that barely covered her ass.

"I want you, really. Lunch is next period; let's have some fun in the bathroom, huh?" I asked one hand wandering up under her skirt.

Esme smacked my arm, suddenly serious and jerked out of my grip. "Carlisle… I want to, but I have my own agenda. I can't just go running off to the bathroom with you every time you watch a sex tape on your phone."

I frowned. "That was one time! And it wasn't even my phone, it was Emmett's! All the boys in the locker room were watching it—Jazz, Em, Edward, Mike, Eric—everyone! Don't pin it on me! At least I didn't hang around while Mike and Eric tried to fix their excitement themselves! I went looking for you, and you didn't even do it with me! Just made me flop like always!"

Esme gave me a deadly glare, but I wasn't done yet.

"You never even kiss me anymore! You always have the same goddamn excuses! If you don't want me anymore, why don't you just say so?" I demanded in a snarl.

She just sighed. "Carlisle… please…" she whispered, her voice sounding almost tortured.

I knew that I had overstepped a line so I shut up. I took her hand in my own and brought it up to my mouth to I could kiss the fingertips. "I'm sorry love," I whispered.

"_Hmph!_" Esme hummed but let me hold her hand. "Maybe… maybe you can come over Friday. My parents are going out of town for a party…"

I smiled. She still loved me. "Thanks babe," I whispered and pulled her into a hug again. I wanted to tell her that she really didn't have to, but I didn't want to give her any ideas about changing her mind. "Can I kiss you?"

Esme smiled slightly. "You know you don't have to ask, Carlisle," she replied and turned so she was facing me. She got up on her tip-toes and kissed me square on the lips. I kissed her back, slowly at force, but then wanted more. The desire to be inside her at that very moment was now pulsing through my body wanting me to almost groan. Dammit I doubted that I could go much longer. I took a step closer so that Esme could feel my bulge and make her decision about what she would do now.

She pulled away and looked down at my excited member and sighed. The lunch bell rang and all the students who had been walking by, not noticing us at all began to slowly file out of the hallways to the lunchroom, leaving Esme and I alone. "Well?" I asked, my voice hoarse, needing her terribly. The need was almost painful now.

Esme looked up at me and then rested one of her small, fragile hands right on the tent in my pants making me literally growl in pleasure. "Let's find a bathroom before you cum in the hallway, huh?" she suggested with a small giggle.

I led Esme to the bathroom on the third floor where no one ever eats their lunch and barely any teachers patrol the hallway. Esme went inside first and I followed her, turning around to lock the door behind us with a key I'd swiped from the janitor's office during my rebellious year as a freshman. When I'd turned around Esme had already taken off her underwear and her skirt. I smiled. God she was sexy.

"I love you," I told her, watching as she pulled her shirt over her head. No bra. Damn, I could have cummed just watching her strip.

She smiled widely. "I love you too." She came over and undid the button and zipper on my pants. One hand slipped down inside my boxers and tugged my erection free. I pulled my pants and boxers down around my ankles so it would be easier while Esme played with my cock. I groaned and just stopped when my clothes were down around my ankles. I slipped my shirt off and just rested back against the wall, enjoying the feeling of her hands on my erect pillar.

I hadn't noticed that my eyes had been closed until I had to open them when Esme removed her hands. Her face was inches from mine she pressed her lips to my own, and I picked her up and took a step away from the wall, allowing her to hitch her legs around my waist. I felt my tip brush her entrance and growled, but Esme took a clump of my hair in her hand and squeezed it. "Dammit, Carlisle," she gasped trying to lower herself so I went inside. "Stop teasing me!"

Smirking, I slowly lowered her down onto my cock until I was fully sheathed. She moaned in pleasure and tried to move, but it was too awkward. I turned us around so her back was pressed up against the slightly cold tile wall and took control. I began to thrust in and out of her, growling with pleasure as I did so. "Oh God, Carlisle!" Esme exclaimed as I increased the speed of my thrusts. "Please don't stop!" She had said the same thing the first night we did it together, but then kept resisting me… What the hell?

"I'm almost there…" I whispered. I had half a mind to release before her after all that shit she put me through, but I still cared about her pleasure.

"So am I…" she breathed and let out a loud moan. "God! Faster, Carlisle! Deeper! Faster! Please!" she begged between gasps. I did as she asked and moved faster, plunging deeper inside her each time, hitting that special spot woman always seemed to love to be hit in. The increased friction made it nearly impossible to control myself. I released before her, but a moment later, Esme did the same.

Once we had both released, I stood there a moment, still supporting her weight and still inside her. "Holy fuck," I breathed and leaved toward until my forehead rested against her. "I fucking love you."

Esme just giggled and kissed my lips softly. "I fucking love you too." She smiled as she pulled away and then her eyes widened, and her head snapped up. "Carlisle…" she breathed.

I looked up at her urgently, concerned. "What is it?"

"Carlisle… you didn't… use a condom…" she whispered, almost shaking.

As the realization dawned on me, I set her down, pulling out of her. I just stared at the floor, thinking of all the horrible things this could mean for us. Esme put one hand on her stomach and sucked in a slow, steady breath. "Well… I guess we might have a baby."

I shook my head, slipping my shirt, and then my pants on. "No… We can't…" I whispered. Esme was watching me, looking almost heartbroken. "I…" I started to say something, then closed my mouth, unsure. I shook my head and unlocked the door to the bathroom.

"Carlisle!" Esme called after me but I was already down the hall.

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><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

Carlisle left me standing in the bathroom, shaking. I pulled my clothes on as quickly as I could and picked up my book from the floor. I stood there in the bathroom for a moment wanting terribly to just scream in fear and frustration. Somehow, though, I held it inside and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. Looking up, I saw myself in the mirror. I looked like I had just had sex—my hair was a mess and I was all gross and sweaty… Thankfully we had gym next period.

The lunch bell rang and I knew that when I emerged into the hall, it would be sparsely populated with students who would most likely notice that I was coming out of the men's restroom. Taking a deep breath, I shoved open the door and quickly exited, but there were barely any students up here. It took a while to get to the third floor.

I walked down the hall feeling violated for the first time. I felt like Carlisle had raped me in there… maybe that's why I had that inexplicable urge to just scream my head off. The farther I walked, I wanted to cry. He had just left me in there—left me and ran away at even the thought of me being pregnant. I never should have gone out with him. I never should I have trusted him… But there was this nice side to him that was rarely visible, but there nonetheless. He was like the devil, tempting me with his drop-dead gorgeous good looks, and that crooked smile that made him look innocent like a little schoolboy…

By the time I had reached the stairs that would take me all the way down to the first floor where the gymnasium was, tears were blurring my vision and my body felt used and numb. I let out a small whimper, just needing to make some noise and walked down the stairs, going the opposite way of the traffic that was coming up from the cafeteria. I was jostled out of the way by laughing jocks who didn't pay attention and bitchy girls that shoved me just for the fun of it. It took me forever just to reach the second floor. As I tried to descend the steps to the first, I met another throng of students climbing the stairs in the opposite direction of me.

It took a while for me to get the first floor. When I reached the bottom of the stairs and set foot on the solid ground I wanted to jump for joy, but my moment of triumph quickly faded as I saw Carlisle walking down the hallway. When we were close enough, he glanced over at me and walked right on by. My heart shattered. I when out into the center of the hall to watch him go, but he had stopped and was turning around.

"Esme…" he sighed and walked up to me.

I couldn't take it anymore. The tears overflowed from my eyes and my body shook with sobs. "You left me in there…" I whimpered. "You left me! You told me you loved me but when I even offer the possibility that you might be a father, and you just i_leave!_/i" I told him, getting angry now, my voice on the edge of a pained snarl. "What's wrong with you?"

Carlisle looked down, looking very guilty and ashamed. I felt my cold, icy heart melt for just a minute, but then felt it freeze once more. He was a good actor. "I'm sorry."

"I don't believe you," I replied simply.

He looked at the floor. "I don't blame you, babe."

We stood there in the hallway in silence as a few kids squeezed around us to get down the hallway to their classes. Every time an innocent kid tried to make their way in between us, Carlisle would shoot them a deadly glare, and they'd go around. "Please… give me another chance… Please, Esme."

I took a deep breath and decided to let this one slide. I'd given him way too many second chances, but that was what love did to me I guess. I just couldn't bear to lose him. "I'll let you slide this time… But if I am pregnant… I want you to stay with me, and not leave me alone."

Carlisle nodded, smiling. "Of course! Thank you, so much!"

I nodded sadly. "I gotta get to gym," I told him quietly as the halls began to clear.

He nodded and pulled me close to him. He kissed my lips softly and tenderly, knotting his fingers in my hair. I let out a soft moan, loving the feeling as he now combed his fingers through my hair gently. He smiled between my lips and pulled away. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	3. Part 1: Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

_Got no salvation (no salvation)_

_Got no salvation_

_Got nor religion (no religion)_

_My religion is you_

_Take a bite of my bad girl meat (bad girl meat)_

_Take a bit of me boy_

_Show me your teeth_

_I'm a tough bitch_

_Got my addictions (my addictions)_

_And I love to fix 'em (and I love to fix 'em)_

_No one's perfect_

_Take a bite of my bad girl meat (bad girl meat)_

_Take a bit of me boy_

_Show me your teeth_

_I just need a little guidance_

_Tell me something that'll save me_

_I need a man who makes me alright (man who makes me alright)_

_Just tell me when it's alright_

_Tell me something that'll change me_

_I'm gonna love you with my hand tied_

_"Teeth" by Lady GaGa_

_**Carlisle**_

The night after Esme and I had that whole big baby episode, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Mike, Eric and the other jocks decided to go to this party at some senior's house. I had invited Esme to go, but she said something about how she had sinned enough already and needed to go to confession. I didn't know what the hell any of that meant, so decided to try it without her.

It was a Friday night, and Edward picked me up in his shiny, new, silver Volvo and then swung around to Mike's to get Mike and Eric, who lived right next door. Jasper and Emmett were taking a separate car but promised to meet us there. Since I was the first on the carpool list, I got shotgun with Edward, and Mike and Eric had to populate the backseat.

On the ride to Mike's, Edward and I sat mostly in silence. "How's Bella?" I finally managed to ask. Bella was Edward's girlfriend, and his supposed fiancé.

We never really talked about our girls much, unless we were giving a descriptive story about how we got them in bed earlier, or the day before. Emmett loved talking about Esme though—I think he had a huge crush on her. Whenever Esme would come see me when I was with the guys, he'd watch her like he cared about nothing else. Emmett knew where the line was drawn though, and he was always careful to never overstep it, even though he did complement her nice ass and rack a few times… Whenever he made some crude remark about Esme, though, I'd punch him in the jaw. Esme was a nice girl, and I wasn't about to tolerate some dude—especially a jock like me—making crude, womanizing remarks about her.

Edward let out a hollow, almost disgusted laugh. There was no humor on his face—there hadn't been for a while. "Shit, Carlisle. Do we have to talk about this right fucking now? Can't you give me a few hours tonight to enjoy myself? I wanna get wasted, pick up some chick and fuck her until I can't even see straight. Don't talk about Bella anymore."

I watched my friend's face carefully. I had known Edward since the first grade and I thought I knew everything about him. He was my best friend and was like the brother I never had. Still, as I looked over at him with the dimming light of twilight casting shadows across his face, I felt like I barely knew him… He seemed so alien, and so grown up. He looked like he'd been through more than a man his age should go through. It had been hard for him since his father died in the beginning of the war in Iraq, and then to make matters worse, Bella got pregnant a year ago. Edward had wanted the baby, but Bella got an abortion out of pure fear of her parents.

No one knew what Edward's thing with babies was. Maybe it was just that his desire to be a father was very strong. He lost his father at a crucial age, when he really needed him. I think that Edward wanted to be a father so that he could give his kid a better life, and always be there for him… Maybe it was because he needed to be needed. His father always needed his help and Edward always liked being around to help him. Many times in relationships after his father's death, he would let the girl kick him around like he was their man slave just because he wanted to be needed by them.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" I inquired in a whisper, fear of him lashing out at me with a harsh reply.

Edward just strengthened his grip on the steering wheel and let out an impatient sigh through his nose. He stared straight ahead at the road, his body rigid. I knew the answer was no.

He pulled into Mike's driveway and a moment later, the two jocks climbed in the backseat behind us. Their energy level immediately lightened the mood, and their jokes soon earned a few chuckles from Edward. Mind you, many were dirty, but they were funny as hell. The party was at some girl named Tanya's house. Eric had promised us there'd be beer there, but I had no intention of drinking. I was actually intending on practicing something that Esme had told be about… What was it… Abstinence? It sounds quite painful and totally uncool, but Esme told me that it involves no sex and no alcohol… Well, most of my friends would never get to use abstinence… or they'd never _abstain_ from those things I suppose I should say. Mrs. Hill would be proud of me.

Edward had to park on the street a block away since there were so many cars on the street just going to this party alone. Mike and Eric were out of the car before Edward even turned off the ignition. I climbed out after them and ran down the sidewalk toward the house. When we were still half a block away, I could hear the loud music blasting out into the street. The ground seemed to tremor in beat with the bass that played in the song. Mike and Eric were at the door before me and quickly went inside, being welcomed by a bunch of friendly shouts.

I slowed down a little, allowing Edward to catch up. When he reached me, he shoved me playfully and jogged right on by. "Come on, dude! What're you waiting for?" he demanded and burst into a sprint up the walkway to the house.

Chuckling, I ran after him and leapt up the stairs. The house was overcrowded with people dancing, and raising their drinks in the air, screaming, laughing, and swearing. Some couples were making out on the couch, some were on the floor, and I didn't want to think about what was going on upstairs. It seemed like a hell of a lot of fun—all of it. Eric let out a howl of excitement as a group of jocks lifted him up into the air, shouting his name like he won them the football championship. When a few of my buddies saw me, they called out my name and pulled me deeper into the mass of crazy, drunken students.

They handed me a drink and made a toast to me for coming and we downed it. The moment mine was empty, my friend James filled it up again. I started dancing and laughed while Mike and Eric failed at breakdancing in the center of the living room. My glass never seemed to be empty. About seven glasses later, I started to feel woozy. I was laughing more and just having a good time.

It wasn't until after my thirteenth of fourteenth round of whatever was in that punch bowl did this beautiful, hot, sexy angel make her way across the room… No, angel was too pure. She was like the goddess of sex walking across the room to me wearing a low-cut black tank top and a pair of short shorts. She came over to me and ran one tan hand through my blond hair, making me shiver. I went hard at her touch.

"Hey, there," the goddess said with a smirk. "I was standing over there watching you and I just wanted to say that I think you're the sexiest man alive."  
>I chuckled, unsure of what else to do. Her words made me feel all fuzzy inside. I wrapped one arm around her waist and just pulled her close to me. "You're pretty good-lookin' too," I replied, my words all slurred together.<p>

She giggled, her voice sounding smooth and golden like honey. "Wanna go upstairs?" she asked.

A red flag rose in my head immediately. Somewhere in my wasted thoughts, I formed a picture of Esme's beautiful face. I couldn't cheat on her… Not now. I was walking on pins and needles with her as it was. The goddess saw my hesitation. "What's the matter?" she almost taunted. "Afraid of your little girlfriend?" she laughed. "You're so much better than that. She's softening you… You're afraid of her—you'll do any goddamn thing she asks you to. You're the boss. Show her that. You're in control. You can have her whenever you want. You make the decisions… But you don't want to lose her… Forget about her. I could make you a real man. A man that doesn't need permission to do what he wants."

Her words stuck me deeply. I wanted to believe her… but I knew it wasn't true. Esme didn't control me. We respected each other… well she did and I tried my best to respect her. The goddess moved closer and planted a heated kiss on my lips. Her breath smelled like beer, and she smelled like ashes and cigarettes but I didn't care. She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me deeper, shoving her tongue inside my mouth.

I moaned softly, feeling hard again. She must have felt my boner poke her in the stomach. She chuckled and removed her tongue from my mouth. "See? You want me. You want to be fucked by a real woman," she said between my lips.

No more excuse came into my head. I was hers. She pulled away and took my hand gently. I followed her like a lost puppy as she led me up the stairs. How we got up the stairs and how we got in the room all had blurred together. The only thing I remembered after that was me being on my back on the bed shirtless and she taking her tank top off right in front of me.

She stripped until she was just in her panties and a bra. She came over to me and took off my jeans, giggling as my cock became more erect in my boxers once it was partially free. I wanted her to start right then and just let me fuck her, but it wasn't going to be that way. I knew it wasn't.

The goddess positioned herself so the apex of her legs was right above my erection, then lowers herself on top of it. I growled in anticipation as she began to hump me. I always had a strong hate for dry humping. Even though it felt fucking amazing, it teased me very badly. I gripped the bed as she increased her speed and it wasn't long before I cummed in my boxers.

The goddess giggled and yanked my boxers down around my ankles before licking off the fluids that was trickling down the sides of my shaft. A moment later, her underwear was off and she was riding me like she was at a rodeo.

It seemed like the rest of the night went by in a blur. When the goddess was finished with me, she got dressed and left me alone in the room. I just laid there staring at the ceiling. I wasn't going to lie—it felt absolutely amazing, but after everything that happened, I didn't feel amazing. I felt like a lying, dirty traitor… That's what I was. I had betrayed Esme, and I knew that I would have to tell her. The guilt would eat me alive.

I got dressed in the darkness of the room and stumbled downstairs. The "goddess", who didn't seem so amazing and beautiful know was flirting with Edward now. I wanted to slap that bitch so hard she was knocked unconscious, but I just didn't have it in me. I staggered out of the house and collapsed on the front law. The last thing I heard were the sirens of cop cars before I passed out.

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><p>AN: Oh Carlisle! We love you, but you can't shack up with whores. Thanks for reading! please review! :D


	4. Part 1: Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

_Why is everything so hard_

_I don't think I can deal with the things you said_

_It just won't go away_

_In a perfect world_

_This could never happen_

_In a perfect world_

_You'd still be here_

_And it makes no sense_

_I could just pick up the pieces_

_But to you_

_This means nothing_

_Nothing at all_

_"Perfect World" by Simple Plan_

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><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

I was just getting ready for bed that night when my phone rang. With a groan, I answered it. "Hello?" I asked cautiously, not recognizing the number.

"Esme?" Carlisle's voice groaned from the other end.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed. "Carlisle, is that you?"

"Yeah… Esme can you come get me?" he asked, sounding truly like he was in pain.

Fearing for his health, I was already up, not caring that I was in shorts and old ragged gray t-shirt. "Of course, where are you?"

He was silent for a minute, and the only thing I could hear was his labored, nervous breathing. "In jail," he finally muttered.

"WHAT?" I nearly screamed, then threw a hand over my mouth. My eyes flew to the door, terrified that one my parents would come in screaming at me and hammering me with questions. Thankfully, no one came in and I let out a sigh of relief. "Why?"

He was silent for a long moment, then sighed. "It's a long story, Esme… I was at a party and there was alcohol there apparently… I got pretty buzzed up, and… and there's something else…"

I was hesitant to ask, then sighed. "What is it?"

Carlisle said nothing once more. The silence was killing me, eating me away like a parasite. "What is it, Carlisle?" I demanded, my voice harsher. So many things were rushing through my head—he did drugs, there was a stripper there, he was going to prison for life, he was going to therapy, he was getting put in a straightjacket and sent to a sponge room, or… or… No. I didn't want to think about anything else.

"I… I cheated," he whispered.

"Huh?" I asked. I prayed that he meant cheated on a test, or cheated on the DUI or something… He… he didn't have sex with another girl… He did not have sex with some slut at that party.

He let out a strangled sigh. "I cheated on you… with some girl… I didn't know who she was! I swear to God Esme, I was buzzed up! I was drunk and… and… I… kept imagining that it was your face on her body… I kept imagining it was you—I wanted it to be you! I would never cheat on your knowingly!"

"But you did," I growled. My voice was trembling with pure outrage. "You did! You did cheat on me! You have sex with some worthless whore! You did it! You did it—you knowingly did it! You were there, she didn't pin you down to the bed and tape your mouth shut! She didn't force you to put your dick inside her!"

Carlisle was silent for a long moment. "She… she actually kind of did… I was on the bottom."

I let out a hollow laugh. "Oh yeah, like that's any better!"

He was silent again, and then sighed. "Esme… I am sorry. I would take it back if I could! I really would, Esme! I really would. Please… if you help me just this once, I will never bother you again if that's what you want."

Sighing, I left my bedroom and snuck down the stairs in silence. He asked my name a few times, but I just hushed him. When I got to the living room, I sighed again. "I'm on my way. Don't do anything stupid," I muttered and slammed by phone shut.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

I had one hell of a headache when Esme finally arrived at the police station. Edward and Emmett were in the cell across from me, glowering at one another. They couldn't reach a decision on whose idea it was to go to the party in the first place since they both blamed one another. I could care less about whose idea it was—I was more worried about Esme's punishment once she got her hands on me.

A police officer came walking down the hallway with his shiny, squeaky black boots and opened my cell door. "Come on, blondie," he said motioning toward me. "Some chick's come to bail you out." Esme.

I didn't struggle, mainly because my headache was killing me. The cop took me out into what looked like a reception area. Esme was standing there, signing some papers at the front desk while this female officer whispered a couple of things to her. Esme looked more than hot in her plaid pajamas and white tank top… No bra. Just the way I liked it… I shook my head groggily. I couldn't think like that. Our relationship might be over because of my stupid decision.

When Esme was done, she turned and looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes piercing my soul. "Come on," she muttered before turning around and walking out. I followed her like a puppy about to go the vet or get a bath.

I got in the passenger's seat, and Esme was already in the driver's. She took a deep breath and went to turn on the ignition, and then let her hand drop. I looked at her, wishing she would look at me to see how much agony I was in. She sucked in an unsteady breath and sniffled. "Why did you do it?" she half-whimpered wiping a tear away from her cheek.

"I don't know why," I whispered. "I was drunk and… and… I don't know what happened… Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" I needed her to forgive me. I had no idea what would happen if she didn't. I'd kill myself or something. As I sat in Esme's Mercedes, I realized that I could not live without her—she was the only thing that mattered to me anymore.

She let out a whimper and wiped away more tears. "Carlisle, I don't know if I can."

I felt tears threaten to brim in my eyes, and I tried to push them away, but they were unstoppable. "Esme…" I whispered, my voice coming out sounding tortured. "Esme… please… you have to… I… I don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

Esme let out a mangled sob and turned so she looked out her window. "Carlisle… I want to forgive you… I want to… I really do… I just… I can't be with you anymore," she said, turning to look at me. Her face looked tortured. She knew she was breaking my heart, but I deserved it. "I can't get it out of my mind, Carlisle. I can't stop picturing you with her. I can't stop thinking about it. It's like I don't know you anymore. It's like it's not you anymore… I feel like I'm in the car with a stranger."

"Esme… please…" I whispered, feeling the tears fall. I looked at her, begging, pleading. "Please… this can't… you can't… This can't be it."

She sighed and looked down, and then back up at my face. "Then tell me why it is."

"Esme…" I tried again, but she shook her head.

"Maybe you should go, Carlisle," she sighed, sniffling once more.

I opened my mouth to try for the last time, but then closed it. I wiped away my own tears and got out of her car. Once I was out, she turned on the car and sped away down the street and into the darkness. I got a depressing feeling that I would never be so close to her again. Esme was gone.

* * *

><p>AN: I know it was this huge "Friends" moment at the end like when Ross and Rachel broke up, but I was watching the episode and I haven't written this in forever. Please review and tell me what you think.


	5. Part 1: Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_My eyes adored you_

_Though I never laid a hand on you_

_My eyes adored you_

_Like a million miles away from me_

_You couldn't see how I adored you_

_So close_

_So close_

_And yet so far_

_"My Eyes Adored You" by Frankie Valli_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

Days passed and I never even glimpsed Esme in the school hallways. Edward and Emmett were "grounded for life" as they said, but I could care less. My parents found out about the whole incident, but there was no punishment. My mother just burst into tears and my father shook his head disappointedly. They blamed themselves for everything I did that was out-of-line, but they weren't at fault. They knew almost nothing about me. Nothing.

When I wasn't at school, I spent almost all my time in my room, waiting for the dreadful day of graduation when I would see Esme again, if I didn't see her before then. I tried calling her. I tried texting her. I tried everything, but I still could not get an answer from her.

I missed her so much it hurt. I missed our little rendezvous in the bathroom. I missed how she'd text me something innocent like hi, and I would start sexting her, and she would get angry and say something about parents that I never paid attention to. Now, I regretted it. I missed her beautiful, smiling face looking at me. I missed her gorgeous body pressed up against mine. I missed… I missed her so much. I wanted her there. With me. On my bed. At that moment.

My phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I grabbed it off my bed-side table, nearly falling off the bed. "Hello? Esme?" I asked into the phone, not looking at the caller ID.

"Still caught up on her?" a familiar voice asked from the other end.

I growled. I recognized that voice. I hated that voice. It was the voice of the goddess… no the demon; the whore that ruined everything. "What do you want?" I demanded, my voice trembling with anger. "Do you know that you ruined my life?"

She sighed exasperatedly. "Look, Carlisle," she said. "My name is Tanya. I'm a senior too, but we have almost no classes together, but I've seen you around."

"And I care why?" I asked, trying to sound bored because I was.

"I'm pregnant," she said simply.

I froze on my bed. I got a bad feeling in my gut, as I wished desperately that I had imagined it. "You…" I whispered, my eyes closed tightly, begging the universe that it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. It would only make things worse!

"I'm pregnant with your kid. We had sex at the party remember? We had hot, wild sex where I finally satisfied you," she replied, her voice thick with lust.

"No, you didn't satisfy me!" I snapped back. "You ruined my fucking life! Esme dumped me because of you!"

Tanya laughed. "Oh please! You deserve better than that mistake."

I growled. "No. Esme deserves so much better than me. I deserve to die. I cheated on her and she has every right to hate me."

She chuckled. "Oh how very noble of you."

I glared at my bedspread. "Shut up. Just shut the fuck up you pathetic whore."

She chuckled again. "Ooh, the Cullen boy knows a few dirty words."

Why couldn't she be in my room with me so I could punch her unconscious? I didn't enjoy hitting women, but fuck, she deserved it! "Look, you were the one who were sober enough to even remember a condom. I was more than wasted that night, and you knew it. You forced me into it, so you can keep the fucking baby."

"Oh, I can, can I? My parents are going to want a name when I tell them the big news. I'll tell them it's you. They'll tell your parents. You'll have to have some form of relationship with me, so why don't we make it easy and just be a couple."

"Fuck no! I hate you!" I growled. "I could never even pretend to love you! You deserve to rot in hell with the other whores!"

"If I'm a whore, Carlisle, you're just as big as one," she shot back. "I was just thinking we could help each other out."

I groaned. "What did you actually have in mind?"

She was silent for a long moment. I could imagine a wide, sinister smile spreading across her face as she got ready to speak. "Marriage."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

Life without Carlisle was more painful than I ever imagined it could be. Every now and then, my phone would buzz, and when I looked over, I would see Carlisle's name on the caller ID for texts and calls. I would look away and silence it, unable to face him. In school, I avoided him. I knew his classes and we didn't have any together anyway since I was in the run for valedictorian and he was more in the barely-passing-with-Cs-and-Ds category.

Still, I missed him something awful. Sometimes when I was in the shower, I would lean up against the cool shower walls and just pretend that he was behind me, about to wrap his arms behind me and plant kisses along my collar bone and the nape of my neck. At night, I would dream of him. One night my dream was so vivid, I woke up very excited and very soaked with sweat. I reached for my phone and began texting million apologies to him, and was right about to send it when something inside me stopped me. He cheated on me. He had sex with that bitch. He willingly did it. He didn't want me anymore. He had her. She was better than I was anyway… Why would he need me? Oh, that's right, he didn't.

I took a deep breath and texted him one word.

**Sorry**

A moment later, I got a reply.

**Me too.**

I stared at the reply for a moment and then took a deep breath. How was I going to say this? My thumbs decided for me apparently.

**I haven't stopped thinking about you since we broke up. I miss you baby.**

This reply took longer, and it only increased my anxiety.

**I miss you too Esme… But I can't get back with you.**

My heart broke with one text message. "What?" I asked aloud, my voice cracking and tears forming in my eyes. Could he really be saying that? How could he just say no like that?

**Why?**

His reply was faster than the last one. I could imagine him saying it to me with no emotion in voice… No hint of regret…The thought made my stomach twist.

**Esme I'm sorry but Tanya (the girl I had sex with) is pregnant. We… we're getting married. I'm sorry. I would take you back, but I can't.**

His choice of words infuriated me. _He_ would take _me_, back? Oh, hell no! He should be on his knees begging me for forgiveness! How dare he?

**Look Carlisle, first of all, I would be taking you back! You're the one that was sleeping around like a broke prostitute! Second of all, I don't give two shits if you marry that bitch. I thought you had changed, but apparently not. I suggest you get some help because you clearly have issues and I hope your precious wife slits your throat in your sleep!**

I felt proud of my text after I sent it. I felt like I had gotten my point across in way he would understand. I hoped he would regret this day for the rest of his life. I wanted to be the one that got away for him. I wanted to be the one that left him because he was a jackass. I wanted to be the one that he would always miss, and always think about. I wanted to be the "other woman" in any relationship he had. I wanted him to pay for what he did. I wanted him to suffer for the rest of his life. I wanted to show him that I could play games too.

When he texted me back, he didn't seem angry, which surprised me. He seemed more sad than anything else.

**I understand… I probably deserve that. I hope you have a good life Esme. I will always miss you. I love you.**

This was the side of Carlisle I would always miss. This was the side of Carlisle that made me love him. This was the side of Carlisle that made me want to hug him and coddle him like a child.

**I… I'll miss you too, Carlisle.**

I was so close to typing and "I love you, but I restrained myself from it. It seemed like I was trying so hard to hang onto him, but Carlisle was already letting go.

* * *

><p>AN: Sad. :( Please review and tell me what you think. :)


	6. Part 1: Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_Made a wrong turn once or twice_

_Dug my way out, blood and fire_

_Bad decisions, that's alright_

_Welcome to my silly life_

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_

_Miss 'No way, it's all good'_

_It didn't slow me down._

_Mistaken, always second guessing_

_Underestimated, look I'm still around_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect_

_-"F**kin' Perfect" by P!nk_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>I was inconsolable for weeks. I stayed clear of Carlisle as much as possible and whenever I laid eyes on the fucking slut I wanted to strangle her and make Carlisle come back to me. Even though I still felt like he owed me, I would've done anything to get him back… it's a good thing I rarely saw him or else I might have burst into tears at the sight of him.<p>

After a week or two, I began cornering myself. _He's too good for you, Esme! You're a fat ugly bitch… Tanya is so much prettier than you, and that's why he chose her! He doesn't love you. You're not pretty enough for him,_ my subconscious would sneer at me… and it was right. I was fat. I was ugly. I was nothing.

My parents were horrified that I never left my room and spent most of my time sobbing and doing homework. My Calculus teacher questioned me when I turned in a tear-drenched worksheet to him, but I just made up some lie. When I wasn't crying and doing homework, I was crying and eating. Food became my source of happiness, and then I would feel horrible because I was turning into a total pig. I ate constantly, and then one night, it happened.

I was completely disgusted with myself. Disgusted with the fact that I was turning into a slob and still heartbroken that Carlisle had left. Over the past few days I had been researching suicide methods and was thinking about one in particular when I was in the bathroom. I stripped out of my clothes and got into the bathroom. As I turned on the water, I eyed my razor. It might take a while, but if I slit my wrists, I would bleed out eventually… It would only hurt for a second while I cut…

Leaning down to get the razor blade, I thought of something: maybe it didn't have to be this way. If I lost weight and got over it, I could move on. Maybe even make Carlisle wish that he'd stayed with me. But how was I going to lose weight? I pondered this as I shaved my legs as normal, deciding not to go through with my suicide plan, but something maybe even darker.

After I showered, I got out of the stall and went over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I was getting more than pudgy now. I got my toothbrush out of the cup and squirted some minty toothpaste on it. I brushed my front teeth first, and then the molars. I worked fast and accidently stuck the brush too far down my throat, causing the gag reflex. Gasping, I pulled my brush out of my mouth and stood over the sink waiting for the awful feeling to pass, when it hit me. I knew what I would do.

I rinsed out my mouth and my toothbrush before kneeling in front of the toilet. Taking a deep breath, I stuck the toothbrush down my throat until I threw up the contents of my stomach in the toilet. I hated the feeling. I felt ruined… dirty… but it worked. It worked… and I did it again, and again, and again.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

Okay, let's face it: I'm a loser. I hate Tanya. Hate her. I love Esme, but I couldn't have Esme because I was such a fucking, drunken idiot to knock up a total bitch. What was worse is that I broke up with Esme via text message which made me an even bigger douche-bag that I already was!

After the text message discussion, it seemed as if Esme just dropped off the face of the Earth. I never saw her, only Tanya. Tanya made me cater to her like I was her fucking man slave… and hell I kind of was. I met her parents shortly after I ended it with Esme and they seemed nice but I knew that they would eternally give me the "fuck off" vibe because I got their slutty daughter pregnant.

Weeks had passed with no glimpse of Esme. A part of me wanted to see her, but another part of me knew that it would be better if I didn't. I was walking down the hallway heading toward my locker after lunch to get my books for fifth period when I heard strange sounds coming from the girl's restroom. Now, I know what you're thinking: strange sounds equals grunts, moans, and probably sex, but it wasn't like that. It sounded as if someone was being strangled.

I opened the door—I was well known in the girl's restroom anyway—and looked around. The handicap stall at the very end of the hallway of doors was slightly ajar. "Hello?" I called.

The sounds continued, so I rushed down the shoved the door open. What I saw shocked me to the core. Esme was on her knees with her head in the toilet and a pen down her throat. Just as I opened the door, she threw up the contents of her stomach into the toilet. "Esme!?" I nearly screamed seeing her.

She gasped and dropped the pen in the toilet before turning to face me. She wiped some spittle from the corner of her mouth and just stared at me with wide eyes. "Carlisle… what are you doing here?"

I let out a hollow laugh. "I think the question should be what the hell are you i_doing_/i Esme?!"

She sat back on her heels and wiped a tear that had escaped from her eyes. "I'm not good enough for you," she finally whispered, breaking my heart. "I'm not good enough for you. I'm not pretty. I'm ugly. I'm fat… Tanya is none of those things… I… I'm not good enough!" she said, starting to sob at the end.

"Oh, Esme," I sighed, kneeling down beside her. I pulled her into my arms and just held her while she cried. "Shh, shh, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here, baby, I'm here."

When she calmed down, she pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this… I just… It's the way I cope I guess. I eat too much and then I have to get rid of it."

"No you don't, Esme," I told her, pulling her back to my chest. I loved the feeling of having her close again. I loved her intoxicating scent that clogged my brain and made me happy. I loved her. I loved her so much and I missed her. "You are the most beautiful person on this planet, Esme. I love you so much."

"But not enough to stay with me," she whimpered.

Sighing, I shook my head. "I would love to stay with you, Esme. I would love to… but I have to take responsibility for my actions…"

"You've never done it before," she pointed out with a hollow laugh.

I had to agree with her on that. Shit, this maturity kick I was on was fucking up my life. "I'm sorry Esme… I promise that if I ever get divorced, I call you." The moment I said it, I regretted it.

She pulled away and glared at me murderously. "If you ever get divorced!" she scoffed. "Who's to say that by that time I won't have moved on and gotten married myself? You just wait Carlisle Cullen, I will make you regret the day you broke up with me!" she growled, getting to her feet and storming out of the bathroom.

I sighed sadly as the door closed. "I already do, Esme."

* * *

><p>AN: I know I haven't updated this in ages. Sorry people. This chapter was based on thoughts that I have been having lately. I just feel like a lot of teen girls go through this, and I feel horrible. Esme is just one tragic example in this chapter. And Carlisle's "taking responsibility for his problems" is causing her to develop an eating disorder. I hope this chapter wasn't too dark or anything, but I just wanted you to know who are going through this, that I am here for you, and you can PM me or even email me at this same username at Yahoo. I am there for you. I will listen.

Anyway, now that the heavy's done with, if you liked this chapter, leave a review to tell me so! If you've liked what you've seen here, click on my username to see more!


	7. Part 1: Chapter 6

_The One That Got Away - Part 1: Chapter 6_

_I hate Esme's graduation speech in this chapter, but oh well. Carlisle is being a little bitch, but he becomes the Carlisle we know and love in Part 2! :D_

_There will be about 10 chapters in Part 1 and there will be time skips, and then we will go to Part 2 which is in the present-day. Part 2 will most likely be longer - around 10 to 15 or maybe more chapters. It will deal with their relationship now and what their lives are like._

_I do not own Twilight - SM does._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

_You had it all the day you told me (told me) you want me_

_I had it all but let you fool me (fool me) completely_

_Yeah I was so stupid to give you all my attention_

_'Cause the way you played me exposed your true intentions_

_And one day I'll have you beggin' on your knees for me_

_Yeah one day I'll have you crawlin' like a centipede_

_You mess with me and mess with her so I'll make sure you get what you deserve_

_Yeah one day you'll be beggin' on your knees for me_

"Beggin' On Your Knees" by Victoria Justice

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>Graduation was only two days away and most of the seniors were freaking out for one reason or another. Whether it was because they were panicking about their speeches, worrying about tripping on the way to get their diploma, praying that they would actually i<em>get<em>/i their diploma, and throwing parties just glad to be out of this shithole, everyone was excited.

Well, everyone but me. Tanya flaunted the cheap-ass wedding ring I'd given her to all of her friends. One time, she even approached Esme—i_my_/i Esme—and shoved it in her face. "Wish you had this, don't you?!" she snickered before walking away. Maybe she wouldn't be the one to slit my throat, maybe I would beat her to it.

Since we broke up, Emmett had offered both of his muscular shoulders to Esme for her to cry on (I could have killed him for it) but she refused him. When I asked him not to one day in the locker room, he just said that she was fair game since I buried my dick in some other chick. You know, people things that rhymes make everything better, but they don't. No sane person on this Earth likes a fucking rhymer. I even flipped Emmett off for it.

I rarely saw Esme, and when I did, I would stare and of course, she'd notice and glare at me. Once I expected her to flip me off like I did Emmett, but she didn't. I smiled to myself at the thought. Esme was a nice girl… Nice girls didn't date assholes like me.

I guess that I was on a self-loathing kick as the school year came to a close. I hated myself for every horrible thing I did to Esme. Tanya and I were getting married the week after we graduated so I only had a short amount of time as a single man… Most guys would go out and party as much as they could, but the only thing I did was sit in my room and sulk. I blew off any homework our teachers thought they could put on us, and just thought about Esme. I thought of how beautiful was, how delicious she smelled, and how soft her body was.

Sometimes, I would get my hopes up, and text Esme. Whenever I did, though, she would respond to me with words I didn't think nice girls like her were capable of using. Finally, though, I had a breakthrough. I had texted Esme an "I'm sorry" and was lying on my bed, waiting for a reply. My phone buzz and I grabbed it hurriedly.

**Why are you doing this Carlisle?**

Sighing, I took a deep breath before running a hand through my head. I didn't really know why I was… I just… I needed her, and I told her that.

**I need you**

Her reply was nearly instant.

**You should have thought about that before you slept with a whore**

She was right, of course. She was always right. Shaking my head, I sent her a melancholy reply, not expecting much of an answer.

**I am sorry for that… I wish things could've been different. I will never stop loving you**

And that was the truth. For as long as I will live, I will always love Esme Platt.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

The day of graduation had all the seniors in their graduation robes. We all sat in our seats patiently as it was announced that I was valedictorian. I knew I would be, so I already had a speech prepared. I walked up to the podium and gazed out at my senior-year class before me. I didn't know half of them, but right near the front was a face with blue eyes and blond hair gazing up at me. Our eyes locked for a moment before I looked down.

"Humans are strange creatures, which everyone in this room has proven. We focus on beauty, love, happiness, jealousy, anger, hate, but we never really think about what truly matters in our lives until it's too late. We hurt each other, and do and say stupid things… but I guess that in a way, it's good to get hurt. Getting hurt is how you learn. The day you stop making mistakes is the day you stop learning from them.

"I was always taught that forgiveness is the base of all relationships whether they are friendly, romantic, or even within your family. We spend too much time consumed in anger and jealousy… That we forget about the good things in this world. When we hate someone, we look at them and find something wrong with everything they do. It's not just the hate either, we judge others the moment we see them. We use stereotypes and we are cruel. We ignore those who adore us, but then adore the ones that ignore us.

"What I'm trying to say I guess is that, we're young, and this is the time to make mistakes and learn from them. Don't judge people by how they look. It's not what you are, or who you've been—it's what you do now. Be yourself, and be who you choose to be, not what people tell you to be."

I had tried to make my speech short, sweet, to the point and meaningful. I had felt Carlisle's eyes on me the whole time and desperately wanted to go and sit next to him, but I knew I couldn't. After a few more words, we all got up and received our diplomas… I watched Carlisle walk up and get his before smiling at the crowd and moving on. God, he was gorgeous. _No!_ my mind suddenly growled at my heart. _He's a bastard! You don't love him anymore!_ Despite how hard I tried to convince myself that, I just couldn't.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

I didn't really listen to Esme's speech—just stared at her beautiful face. I put on a smile when I got my diploma, but I was crying on the inside. My parents hugged me and kissed me and congratulated me. They told me how proud they were, but it did little to brighten my mood.

Edward was having a graduation party at his house afterward, which I went to. This was the first party I had been to since the incident… I stayed sober the entire time and avoided all women. Eric and Mike were about ready to pass out from all the drinks they'd had when Esme walked through the door. My eyes widened, and I just stood there, open-mouthed, staring at her. Her three best friends, Rosalie, Alice and Bella pranced over to her and began speaking to her.

Esme stood there, oblivious to my existence. She was laughing as if she didn't care… Maybe she had let go… Did she move on? Had she found someone else to make her happy?

Anger, jealousy, pain—all of those emotions mixed together drove me out of the room and up the stairs. There are not words to describe what I felt—what I had been feeling ever since our relationship ended. I stood in the hallway upstairs and saw a blond girl smiling at me from further down the hallway. I don't know what possessed me to do so, but I went toward her and began to flirt with her.

It wasn't anything special—most definitely not the material I would use on Esme—but I was able to entice her into the unused bathroom. Before I knew it, our clothes were off and I was fucking her. The girl—I didn't even know her name—seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it, but I was getting little gratification. I closed my eyes and pictured Esme there instead of the blond, but I just couldn't. Esme didn't feel like this. Esme didn't sound like this. I never was so rough with Esme.

I heard the door fling open and I froze before turning to face the person standing there. To my horror, Esme stood in the doorway, staring at us with shocked, pain-filled eyes. "Esme…" I breathed, pulling out of the blond and shoving her away from me. "Esme, please…"

Tears overflowed from her eyes and I longed to pull her into my arms. She was so close—an arm-length away if that—but I didn't dare move toward her. She wiped her tears away and gave me the most terrifying glare she could muster. "I hate you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

The moments those three words were out of my mouth, Carlisle's face changed. For the first time in my presence, he let his emotions show. The whites of his eyes began to grow red as he struggled to hold in tears that I knew he would never truly let fall. "Esme… I am so sorry…" he whispered, his voice trembling. "I need you. I need you so badly… It's killing me not being with you. It's killing me."

The gentle, forgiving side of me screamed to forgive him. I don't know; maybe I should have, but the pain that he had caused me hardened my heart. "I can never forgive you for what you did to me, Carlisle."

I could see the anger boiling beneath the surface in his face. "Okay, Esme, I cheated! I cheated one time! People cheat all the time and people forgive them! Why the hell can't you forgive me?!" he practically roared.

"Because you hurt me! You hurt me and you treated me like I was your disposable, replaceable sex toy!" I screamed right back at him.

A hand flashed in front of my face and pain quickly followed. I dropped the floor, holding my aching cheek, trying to process what just happened. Then it dawned on me: Carlisle had hit me. More tears fell from my eyes and I looked up at him. He towered over me, looking like a monster. I scrambled across the floor away from him. His eyes were wide, and he stood there, mute, staring as I quickly got to my feet and fled from the bathroom.

Stumbling incoherently down the stairs, I made my way over to Rosalie and Alice who stood flirting with Emmett and Jasper. When they saw me and my tear-stained face, their attention tore away from the boys and fixated on me. "Esme, what happened?!" Rosalie demanded wrapping one reassuring arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, what happened?" Emmett asked, flashing me a weak, but reassuring smile.

"Carlisle…" I began, but trailed off.

"You saw him," Jasper guessed, his face somber. "He's really messed up without you, Esme."

"I saw him," I agreed. "And we started to yell at each other and then… then he hit me…" I gasped, resting my head on Rosalie's shoulder. Rosalie pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair, murmuring soothing words into my ear.

"I'll kill the bastard!" Emmett growled throwing his half-full cup onto the floor. "Where is he?"

"Last I saw, he went upstairs," Jasper said.

I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't find the strength. Maybe Emmett would beat some sense into him. Carlisle had hit me… I kept repeating the fact over and over again in my mind. I would never, ever forgive him for that, and one day… one day I promised myself I would make him pay for it.

* * *

><p>AN: Did you like this chapter? Leave a review and let me know! Did you like what you've seen here? Click on my username to see more! :D


	8. Part 1: Chapter 7

_The One that Got Away - Chapter 7_

I am finally writing this again. The song "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars largely inspired me to write again. It is exactly how Carlisle feels.

I don't own Twilight.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

"_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_

_Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_

_When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down_

_Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name_

_It all just sounds like oooooh…_

_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_

_That I should have bought you flowers_

_And held your hand_

_Should have gave you all my hours_

_When I had the chance_

_Take you to every party_

_Cause all you wanted to do was dance_

_Now my baby's dancing_

_But she's dancing with another man_

_My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways_

_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life_

_Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…_

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes"_

_-"When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>I stood in the bathroom with my pants down around my ankles. It was a somewhat comical scene with the blond girl huddled on the floor, looking terrified. After a few moments, I heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and Emmett appeared. "You son of a bitch!" he shouted before punching me in the face.<p>

Stumbling backward, I heard the blond girl scream bloody murder. I took a tumble into the tub on the one wall of the bathroom and gasped as some asshole turned the shower on, sending icy drops pouring down on me. My vision was blurring and my head was pounding. Was it from the Emmett's punch, or was I just numb from the fact that I had hit Esme? How could I have ever done such a thing? It made no sense! What could have possessed me to ever do that to the woman I loved above all else?

I knew exactly what possessed me. It was a mixture of anger, hatred aimed at myself, frustration with Esme, fury for Tanya, and just pure agony at the fact that I had lost the best thing in my whole life. Fuck me.

A hand grabbed my shirt and yanked me out of the shower. I saw Emmett's enraged face once more before his fist collided with my face a second time. This time, he held me in place so I couldn't go tumbling backward. The blond chick had disappeared, and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. Where was Esme? Had they just abandoned her downstairs?

"Emmett stop!" Rosalie shrieked as Emmett hit me a third time. I heard a crack and then I felt warm liquid running down my face and over my lip. "You broke his nose!" Rosalie growled, grabbing Emmett's massive shoulder. "Let him go! The cocksucker's not worth it!"

Emmett let go of me, and I pulled my pants up quickly and buttoned them. Once they were securely fastened around my waist, I involuntarily dropped to my knees. The tears were flowing before I could stop them. "I'm sorry," I breathed, my voice coming out half-strangled. I was just glad that they could barely hear it over the rhythmic booming of a base playing on the stereo downstairs.

Without warning, Emmett kicked me in the ribcage making me gasp. The thing you need to understand about Emmett was that he had been a football player for three years in a row and was probably the strongest guy in school. No one, not even this kid named Felix on one of the opposing teams who was about a foot taller and just about as muscular could take him down. Emmett was quite literally The Muscle Man of Forks High School. Mike used to joke that one day he should try to win Mr. Universe. He probably could if he tried hard enough. With that said, getting punched by him three times, and getting kicked in the rib was pretty much hell.

"Emmett!" a fragile-sounding voice squeaked as his foot swung back to kick me a second time. I looked up and saw Esme standing in the doorway, trembling. Five of us were squeezed in the tiny bathroom and now Esme stood, teetering on the threshold, gazing down at me. Her face and eyes were red from crying, and her caramel colored hair was ruffled. The fear in her eyes broke my heart. "Emmett… stop…" she choked.

I pushed myself to my feet and limped toward her. On my way toward her, I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror and understood her horror. My shirt and hair were drenched, and my hair was messed up from Emmett's abuse. Blood still poured from my nose and the trail went all the way down to my chin. My right eye was beginning to turn black-and-blue… I certainly was not a pretty sight. "Esme…" I breathed. "I'm so… so sorry."

It suddenly became difficult to articulate. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and exactly how I wanted to say it… but my mouth wasn't cooperating. My vision blurred, causing Esme's beautiful purple dress to blend in with her pale skin. She literally became a skin-colored glob with some purple thing on her midsection and something caramel stuck on top her head. "Esme…" I whispered before collapsing to the floor.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>Carlisle Cullen passed out at my feet, blood still pouring from his nose, and his right eye continuing to worsen. Hesitantly, I crouched down and touched his cheek with my hand. It was still wet from his trip to the shower, and yet, it was too warm. "What should we do?" I heard Jasper ask. Someone answered him, but I didn't pay attention. I focused on Carlisle's adorable face. Dammit, why the hell did I have to love a man who was clearly not good for me?<p>

It was then I began to understand. Carlisle Cullen was my drug—my own, personal brand of heroine. I was addicted to him; to the rush and love he gave me, and yet, at the same time, he was killing me. Every day I spent with him, it was the new greatest day of my life—every day was enjoyable—and then the bad times were worse than anything I had ever felt before. In those bad times, I felt as if he were killing me—destroying me slowly but surely. Was this it? Had I finally figured it out? Did I just need rehab? But then again, who in their right mind would commit themselves in a rehab facility to get over their ex-boyfriend. Maybe it didn't need to come to that. Maybe all I needed was a new boyfriend to remedy the aching feeling that fulfilled me whenever I thought of him. But was it wise to replace one drug with another?

"I'll call an ambulance," I heard Alice whisper as she side-stepped me and Carlisle to head to the nearest phone, or maybe to go outside to a quieter place.

"Are you fucking insane?!" Emmett shouldered after her, shouldering his way by. "You'll get Edward busted! You know there's beer here, and people are getting high!"

"Fine, then we'll have to take Carlisle somewhere else!" Alice snapped.

"We don't need to take him anywhere," I spoke suddenly, not knowing what possessed me to do it. "My parents are out of town so we can take him to my house."

The decision was made, and we put Carlisle Cullen in the back of my car and Alice drove to my place. Jasper sat shotgun while Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and I were crammed into the backseat of my tiny little car. Carlisle was squished between Rosalie and me, his head resting on mine. For a moment, I fantasized that he was awake and whispering sweet nothings in my ear before gently kissing me in the tender spot just below my earlobe that made me shiver in delight.

But it wasn't real. It was a dream, a fantasy, a hallucination. I repeated that fact over and over again in my head like a mantra. _It is not real. It is not real. It is not real…_ I repeated it mentally over and over until Alice pulled in my driveway. Jasper was the first out of the car (he always was claustrophobic) and went up to the porch to open the door as Emmett began pulling Carlisle out of the car. Rosalie met me on my side of the car and walked me to the door while Alice oversaw the transportation of Carlisle. Rosalie began speaking to me, but I barely heard her. I was too busy watching Emmett carry my ex-boyfriend.

"Esme?" her voice broke me out of my trance. I looked at her, I could imagine how blank my face looked.

"What?"

"Did you hear me?"

I shook my head.

Rosalie sighed exasperatedly. "Are you sure that you wanna go through with this?" she asked. "You don't have to."

I shook my head again. "It's fine."

"Tanya won't like it," Rosalie pointed out.

"Well she can go fuck herself!" I snarled.

Rosalie shut up after that and Emmett flopped Carlisle down on my living room couch. "Are you—" he began to ask.

"I'm fine! Now, get out of here!" I shouted pointed at the door. I didn't know where my sudden fury came from, but my friends got the message. They filed out of my house and began to head home, leaving Carlisle Cullen and me all alone in my house.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>I had to be in Heaven. Emmett had to have kicked me to death or broken a rib and made it tear open my lung so I died. That had to be it, or else, the image I received when I opened my eyes had to be just me waking into another dream. I was in Esme's living room, and she sat on the coffee table right across from me, pressing a moist, cold cloth against my face. It felt divine. "Esme…" I breathed.<p>

Esme's beautiful brown eyes locked with mine. I knew I looked like hell—Emmett can do a number on somebody—but even if I weren't so badly beaten up, Esme would have been a thousand times more beautiful than me. Her caramel hair hung down, framing her face, and her soft, pink lips were slightly parted as if she longed to say something but couldn't. Then, I noticed the bruising beginning to form on the left side of her face, and then I remembered.

I had hit her. I had hit that beautiful creature.

"I deserve to burn in hell for eternity," I whispered, reaching out to touch her face.

Esme recoiled instantly and shot up. She moved around the coffee table until it was between us. "Just… be grateful I'm allowing you to stay here until your whore comes to pick you up in the morning."

Aw, fuck I forgot about Tanya. Did she really matter right now? "Esme… I'm… I'm so sorry," I choked out, feeling my tears come again. What an un-manly thing to do in this situation. Maybe I wasn't really a man anymore. Maybe I deserved to have my balls chopped off and slung up on a tree. I don't know. I felt like a total wuss sitting there and crying in front of Esme, but I couldn't help it. Maybe life had beaten me down so much that I had no shame anymore. I just didn't want to hold it in anymore. I wanted to lay down in some dark corner and die.

Sympathy flashed in her eyes before swiftly disappearing. "You should have thought of that before—" she stopped herself as she looked at me again. She must have seen what a shell of my former self I had truly become. "Oh… Carlisle…" she sighed, walking over to me slowly. She knelt down beside the couch, her face less than a foot away from mine.

"I don't want you to be the one that got away, Esme," I whispered. "I want you to be the woman I spend the rest of my life with."

"But… Tanya…"

"Forget about her," I pleaded. "Please. She doesn't matter. She's a fucking whore who has become the greatest mistake in my life. Please, Esme. Please, I beg you… Forgive me. I know that I've done wrong things. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness… but I beg your from the bottom of my heart, please… I can't live without you! I don't wanna live with Tanya. I don't want to spend my life with her! I want to spend it with you! I don't want her in my life at all!"  
>Esme sighed sadly. "Carlisle, she always is gonna be in your life! You're having a child with her! You can't escape that!"<p>

She was right; she always was. "I know…" I sighed. "I just…" Without warning, I felt my head leaning toward hers. I thought she would jerk away like she had at first, but she didn't. My lovely gave me the best surprise of my life. She met me halfway and pressed her soft, lush pink lips to mine. Her hand cupped the bruised side of my face gently, running her thumb over my cheekbone.

Too quickly, she pulled away. I looked up at her with desperate eyes, and she just stretched out her hand. I took it warily. She led me up the stairs to her bedroom and locked the door behind us. That night, we had sex… but this time, it was different than before. I relished and treasured every single moment. I didn't fuck her like I did before—I made love with her. You know what they say: You never know how special she is, until you lose her, and now that she was back, I felt… alive again. But how long would she stay with me? Was this just a one-night stand? A final goodbye? What was going on inside that beautiful mind of hers? A part of me, didn't even want to know.


	9. Part 1: Chapter 8

_The One That Got Away - Chapter 8 _

There are about two chapters left in part one, and then we will finally move on to part two which will begin at the reunion we saw in the prologue.

Thanks for sticking with me this long. :) I appreciate it.

I don't own Twilight.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

"_I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did,_

_Take it in, I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left_

_No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles for me_

_You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep_

_I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone_

_I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home_

_I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much_

_I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)_

_You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit_

_My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)"_

_-"Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" by P!nk_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>Carlisle lay beside me, asleep. His gentle, boy-like face tugged at my heartstrings. Why couldn't he look so innocent and adorable all the time? As if on cue, a memory flashed before my eyes-his hand slapping my face, and the stinging sensation that followed. Carlisle had hit me... and then I slept with him... What the hell is wrong with me?<p>

My mind continued to process these facts when I heard the rumbling of a car engine. I sat up slowly so I didn't wake Carlisle and saw a red Volvo outside in the driveway. Inside, I spied a woman with long, curly blond hair. She was my arch nemesis. She was the woman that kept my Carlisle away from me. She ruined our relationship. And now, Tanya Denali was in my driveway, waiting for Carlisle to come out and greet her.

Shit.

Turning to Carlisle, I shook his bare shoulder gently. He only grunted, still fast asleep. "Carlisle!" I hissed, shaking him harder.

His bright blue eyes opened and found me instantly. "Esme?" he asked, as if he were still half asleep. "You're... you're here?"

I nodded weakly. "Yes... Tanya's here to get you, now."

Confusion clouded his eyes. "Tanya... but..." He looked around and seemed to finally realize he was in my room, in my bed, with me. "So then... it really happened? We..."

"Yeah," I whispered softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "We did."

"That explains why my head hurts so fucking bad," he joked until he began to study my face. I hadn't seen it yet, but I could imagine that it wasn't pretty. Pain filled his eyes and overflowed onto his flawless face. "Oh, Esme," he breathed, his voice laced with agony. "I'm such an idiot! I've made so many mistakes... and so many of them are irrevocable... You have every right to hate me for what I've done. I'm a monster; a true monster that deserves to burn in hell for the rest of its miserable days!"

Tanya laid on the horn outside. Car horns are the most obnoxious things in the whole universe. This girl got on my nerves enough as it is, but now she was pushing me to my fucking limit.

"Carlisle… You need to go," I said simply. I did not want that arrogant bitch coming in my house looking for him. Hell, if she saw us in bed, she would probably try to kill me, and I couldn't punch a pregnant woman! I mean, the baby didn't do anything wrong! "Tanya… she's waiting."

Carlisle shook his head and sat up. His wonderful face was bruised and broken from Emmett's beating. His nose was definitely broken and was black-and-blue along with most of his face. "I don't want to go with her," he said simply. "I want to stay with you."

It was that point that I officially declared myself an idiot. Carlisle had hurt me more than anyone else, and then I slept with him. Now, he thought everything was okay, and a part of me did too. I was half-tempted to forgive him… I really wanted to. I mean, I could get over it! I could learn to forget. "I…"

Tanya pounded on the door downstairs. "CARLISLE!" she screeched. "GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Carlisle didn't even acknowledge his fiancée. "Esme… please… forgive me."

"You should go to Tanya," I whispered. What about the baby? That baby needed some sensible person to care for it.

"I don't want to!" he half-shouted. He cupped my face in his hands and raised it to his. "Esme…"

Carlisle continued to shriek like a banshee downstairs, and I was tired of it. I got up and began to get dressed. "Get dressed, Carlisle," I whispered. "Your fiancée is waiting."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>I got dressed at Esme's request. My head was pounding, my body ached, and my heart cracked a little more each time I looked at Esme. The last thing I wanted was to see Tanya. Why? Why did I have to be such a fucking idiot?! "Esme…" I breathed as she finished dressing and walked to the door.<p>

She turned slowly, her face solemn. "It's over, Carlisle," she whispered. "You might not like Tanya, but you've dug yourself into a whole too deep for you to get out of. Your child that is growing in her womb needs you much more than I do."

I gazed at her sadly. "This… this is it, then? So that…" I trailed off looking at the bed. "This was a goodbye?"

Esme sighed. "I guess it was…" she whispered. "I just can't… I can't take you away from that situation knowing that your child would be born into a hell that no innocent child deserves to be in."

She was right. She always was. "Can we still be friends?" I asked quietly.

Esme shook her head. "No, Carlisle. We can't."

We went down the stairs in silence and Esme opened the door. Tanya immediately began swearing and shouting at both of us. She called me every kind of bad name imaginable, and I didn't care. I let her take all her rage out on me. I showed no reaction, and it only pissed her off further. When she couldn't get a reaction out of me, she began swearing at Esme until the woman I loved kicked us both out of her house.

Tanya bitched all the way to the car, all the way home, and all the way into my house. I didn't even hear her. Every part of me ached for Esme. I wanted her. I needed her. But that child needed me too. She was right; I couldn't let that child suffer alone.


	10. Part 1: Chapter 9

_The One That Got Away - Part 1: Chapter 9_

This is Chapter Nine. Chapter Ten might be the last chapter in Part 1, but it will depend on how far I get, and whether or not I can end it in a good way. I think I'll be able to, though.

I don't own Twilight.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

"_Yeah, it started out with just a minimal friendship,_

_I would see you out at the clubs,_

_Nothing romantic. _

_We would dance in a while,_

_While we exchange smiles_

_Even though I didn't know I was digging your style._

_We finally grabbed dinner and drinks_

_Talking for hours,_

_And by the third date I was bringing you flowers._

_I know I must be trippin' when I'm feelin' this way,_

_Even my boys had caught me slippin' for not wanting to play._

_But every single day I'm thinking about you,_

_I don't care what anybody else says,_

_Girl I'm glad that I found you._

_I met a lot of women in my lifetime,_

_Some inspired me to write rhymes,_

_But never of the right kind._

_But every time I'm getting close,_

_I feel you pushing me back_

_You just wanna be friends but I ain't cool with that._

_You tryna tell me that your ex is an issue,_

_Guess I'll wait for verse two and see the story continue._

_C'mon._

_I know you're just getting out and you're tired of it,_

_You'll be single for a while._

_But every time we're both hanging out,_

_I get fired a bit,_

_I just want to make you smile._

_I know there's something more between us,_

_I'll be Mars and you'll be Venus,_

_Can we get close,_

_Please don't say no_

_Another case of the rebound."_

"_Rebound" by Traphik_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>I didn't see Carlisle Cullen again. The summer ticked by torturously slow. I spent most of my time with Alice, Rosalie, or Bella, just trying to forget about <em>it.<em> I couldn't even bear to say his name anymore. It was too painful. My wonderful friends did all they could to console me, but each seemed to be fighting their own battles. Rosalie, who was in love with Emmett and had been in love with him since the seventh grade was upset that he was now mooning after me. Alice and Jasper were planning on getting married after their first year of college and were still trying to work out the details, and Bella and Edward were starting to see each other again.

All of my friends were associated with IT some way or another. They all avoided any talk about it when I was around. Edward, IT's best friend hadn't seen him for a while. Apparently, it had been spending time with its fiancé. By July, word on the street was that they were married. I ignored it. I didn't think about it. I didn't want to think about it.

In August, I moved to Ohio to attend Ohio State University. I planned on taking whatever classes were necessary to become a writer. That was my plan now. It was all I focused on, and it was enough to distract me from the past. Being out of Forks was also very beneficial to me. I was far away from IT and all of the memories the town held of it. I heard that _he _was going up to Alaska to attend Dartmouth with his new wife. I got an apartment in Columbus toward the outskirts of the city, but close enough where I could easily access the campus. No one else had joined me in Ohio—all of my friends went our separate ways after we graduated. I was alone.

After my first month in the city, I became addicted to coffee. After staying up every night studying, doing homework, and working, I had to find some way to keep myself awake. I discovered coffee when I went out to try to find something to eat at five o'clock in the morning and waltzed right into a coffee shop. It was there I met Charles.

Charles was tall, muscular, and very tan with dark brown hair and brown eyes. Truthfully, I didn't notice him. I had no idea that he would ever have any influence on my life. I walked up to the counter and ordered a regular coffee and he walked over to me.

"You should get a shake," he said simply, pulling out his wallet and rummaging through it, not looking for anything in particular. "They are pretty good."

I looked at him furtively. "Oh... Well, maybe next time," I whispered. I felt awkward standing there, waiting for my coffee. He was just watching me. I had barely spoken to any men outside of school, and I only did in class. I was completely out of my element.

Charles nodded. "Do you come here often?" he asked casually.

I looked away from him and rolled my eyes. That was quite literally the lamest pick-up line ever. "No," I replied. "This is my first time here."

He nodded again. "That's cool... What's your name?"

"Esme."

"I'm Charles."

The boy behind the counter finished my coffee and handed it to me. I took it and turned away from the counter. Charles followed me. "What are you doing tonight?"

I tried not to let out an annoyed huff. "Studying."

He smirked. "College kid, huh?"

I pulled my purse higher up on my shoulder. "Yes. I have a test tomorrow."

_Why do you care?_ "In my Literature class."

He smiled. "I liked Literature," he commented. I was walking toward the door and out of the I, and he was following me. He was persistent, I had to give him that. "It was my favorite class before I dropped out."

_Oh. A drop-out. Why doesn't that surprise me? _I thought irritably. "Oh," I murmured. "Really?"

He nodded. "I like to read."

"Cool."

"Where are you headed?" he asked, still following me as I walked down the street to the bus stop.

"School."

"Are you gonna be studying all night?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Well can you give me your digits?"

_Oh. My. Fucking. God. _How lame was this guy? Was he serious? I was half tempted to say no, but then I began to "reason". I say "reason" because it was more likely insanity than anything else. "Sure," I sighed.

He smiled triumphantly as if he had just won a brand new Lamborghini. He pulled out his phone and opened his contacts. I gave him my number with a heavy heart. It was finally ccurring to me what was happening: I was giving my number to another guy. I was setting myself up for a guy friend, or, possibly, a relationship. It was beginning to terrify me.

"I'll text you tonight," Charles told me. "You can reply when you're..." he trailed off, chuckling. "Done studying."

* * *

><p>That night, I sat on the couch in my living room, rereading <em>The Grapes of Wrath.<em> I had a literature test on it tomorrow and I wanted to make sure that I had all the information correct. I was just reaching the final chapter when my phone buzzed on the table. Sighing, I picked it up and looked at the caller ID; it was an unknown number. I felt like a cinderblock had been placed on my chest. Was Charles calling me?

In the back of my mind, a gorgeous blond-haired man with deep blue eyes appeared. He was smiling at me with that warm, loving smile of his. _Carlisle._ I missed him more than anything. Shaking my head and returning to my vow of eternal hatred for that man, I answered my cell phone. This was Carlisle's fault—all of it. He was the one who left me. He was the one who married that girl. He forced me into this!

"Hello?" I asked quietly.

"Esme?" Charles's voice sounded on the other end. "Is that you?"

"It's me."

"Are you studying?"

"Yes."

"Which book?"

I looked down at the book in my lap thoughtfully. "_The Grapes of Wrath._"

"I never read that one," he confessed. "I've always wanted to, but I've never had time. Ever since I dropped out of college, I've been busy with work and such. I haven't had time to read, but it was one of my most favorite past times."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I never would have guessed." _You idiot! _my brain hissed at me. It was slapping itself in the forehead over and over again at my stupidity. _He told you this earlier! You just didn't want to listen!_

"Yeah. My favorite books are probably... Probably _Harry Potter._ I like the magic and junk. My sister reads that_ Twilight_ stuff. She tried to get me to read it, but I wouldn't," he answered.

I smiled weakly. "Yeah. I like _Harry Potter_ too... I've never heard about _Twilight_ though. What's it about? Do you know?"

"Some vampire romance," he said. "Do you like _Water for Elephants?_"

"Yeah," I said, unable to keep from smiling. "That's one of my favorites."

"Mine too! I love August's character," he said. "He knows how to get things done."

A red flag rose in my head, but I chose to ignore it. "Yeah, he does... I suppose. He does abuse his wife though."

Charles shrugged off the comment as if it had never been said. "I liked Walter too! Too bad what happened to him though. Marlena seemed like a total bitch to me though! August had every right to beat her."

Another red flag rose. And another. And another. And another.

And I ignored them.

"So, anyway," Charles said. "What are you doing tomorrow night? It's Friday so don't tell me you're going to be studying."

"I'm not doing anything," I confessed quietly. It was with heavy heart that I told him this, but I still told him this. I could have lied, but I didn't. I told him the truth. I was pretty much putting a noose around my neck. I might as well had been.

"That's great! Wanna go out to dinner or something?" he asked.

Who else would ask me out on a date? Besides, school was beginning to drive me insane; I needed a night out. Plus, it might make me feel better after... everything that happened. "Okay," I said, trying to sound happy. "Sounds great."

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><p>AN: Did you like this chapter? Leave a review and let me know! If you've liked what you've seen here and you wanna see more, click on my username to see more!


	11. Part 1: Chapter 10

_The One That Got Away - Part 1: Chapter 10_

Final Chapter in Part 1.

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

"_I heard that you're settled down_

_That you found a girl and you're married now._

_I heard that your dreams came true._

_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you._

_Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over._

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

_Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"_

_You know how the time flies_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives_

_We were born and raised_

_In a summer haze_

_Bound by the surprise of our glory days_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over."_

_-"Someone Like You" by Adele_

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><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>Two years went by. Tanya and I were married and we had a son, Jimi. Since Tanya was making almost all the decisions I argued and argued with her in order to get our son named after my favorite musician, Jimi Hendrix. Tanya finally agreed, tired of arguing me and realizing that I was stuck with her for the rest of my life, so I might as well get something good out of the situation.<p>

School was hell at first. I was training to become a doctor and I spent hours studying every night. Tanya didn't even go to school; she was a stay-at-home mother and still did a shitty job. I hated leaving little Jimi home alone with her all day. Anything could happen while I was gone and I made myself sick with worry. I loved little Jimi more than anything. If I lost him, or if she hurt him, I swore to God the moment he was born that I would kill that bitch. It would be _her_ fault, and I would make sure she knew it.

This will probably surprise you, but never during the time I was married to Tanya did I cheat. It wasn't that she satisfied me or because I cared about her because neither of those were true. It was because I knew better. I swore that I would never cheat again. Esme was the only woman I loved. She was the only one I cared about... besides Jimi of course. Esme was gone. I lost her, and I wouldn't lose Jimi. He was all I had left.

Tanya and I hardly had a sex life let alone a love life. We both hated each other. The only thing she liked about me was my good looks. She didn't give a shit about my personality. I could be the biggest asshole in the world and she wouldn't care.

One night, I got the news that changed my life forever. Edward was driving me home since he had offered and he looked especially worried. He and Bella were happy and back together with a baby on the way now, so I had no idea why he was so upset. Finally, he took a deep breath, and looked at me once before back to the road. "Rosalie called Bella this morning," he whispered. "Esme's getting married."

My head snapped toward him. "What?!"

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. Rosalie said that she's living in Ohio and met this guy—Charles—and really likes him. They're tying a knot in July."

"Five months," I whispered.

He sighed. "Yeah… Five months."

"I need to go see her," I whispered suddenly.

His eyes widened as he looked at me. "Carlisle… you're not serious."

"I need to see her," I said again, stubbornly.

"Carlisle, you're a married man, and soon she will be a married woman. Let it go. It's over. She doesn't want you anymore!" Edward growled.

I looked down, Edward was right. But the hole in my heart grew ten times larger at this news. Esme had met another man and she loved him enough to marry him. She would become Mrs. Charles girlfriend-stealer and she would give him a Charles Jr. and an Esme Jr. and they would run around in the front yard of their Ohio home while Esme and this Charles bastard sat on the front porch holding hands and drinking lemonade while I would be stuck in Alaska with my slutty wife being the only parent to little Jimi and trying to raise him to be a good man.

"Let her go, Carlisle," Edward implored. "Please. If you go, you'll piss her off, and it'll only hurt you more. You're my best friend, and I hate seeing you in pain."

"Okay. I won't go to her," I whispered. Edward nodded and looked back to the road. Even though I promised not to seek her out, it wouldn't stop me from thinking about her nearly every second of my life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>I opened the door to my apartment and Charles shoved me inside. I giggled as I felt his arms wrap around my waist. His lips crushed to mine the moment the door was closed. I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as his hands found the zipper of my dress. Slowly, he pulled it down and slipped my dress off my shoulders. My lips were still glued to his as my hands undid the buttons of his shirt.<p>

His hands were undoing my bra when the phone rang. "Fuck," I breathed, grasping a clump of his hair in my hand. Charles and I still hadn't had sex yet and tonight, after a wonderful, romantic, candel-light dinner and a walk through the park during sunset, was going to be the night. It kind of seemed foolish since Charles and I were getting ready in a few months, but we just couldn't wait that long.

Charles kissed down my neck to my collar bone. "Ignore it," he breathed, his hot breath hitting my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

I groaned pulling his head closer as his hands ran up to cup my breasts. "Oh God…" I breathed. I wanted to ignore the phone. I wanted to love Charles with every fiber of my being, but I couldn't ignore it. "I want to, but it could be something important."

He sighed and pulled away. His gorgeous brown eyes were solemn, but understanding. "I know, darling. You're right," he whispered, picking up his shirt from the floor. "I'll wait in the bedroom."

I smiled as he disappeared into my room, and picked up the phone. Even though I was upset that I had been interrupted, I couldn't help but be happy with Charles around. "Hello?"

"Esme?" a man's voice came from the other end.

My heart stopped.

_ No._

"Esme, this is Carlisle. Are you there?"

_NO!_

"What the hell are you doing?!" I hissed into the phone.

Carlisle was silent for a long moment. "I was just… calling to congratulate you on your wedding."

"Well I don't need your congratulations, Carlisle!" I shouted into the phone. "I don't need anything from you!"

His voice was piecing my heart like a serrated blade, and then yanking out slowly, tearing at my flesh. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to ruin this night. "I just thought that we could talk," he said.

"I don't need, nor do I want to talk to you, Carlisle! I hate you!" I was no screaming. Without waiting another moment, I slammed the phone back onto its receiver. I was breathing heavily, and tears were forming in my eyes.

I hated him.

I hated him.

I hated him.

"Esme?" Charles called, coming out of the bedroom. "Is everything okay?" he asked, leaning up against the door frame.

I looked over at him, feeling the tears roll over my eye lid. "No. Everything is not okay," I whimpered.

He rushed over to me and I collapsed into his arms, sobbing into his chest. He rubbed my back soothingly and whispered words of consolation in my ear. He didn't ask who had called. He didn't ask why I reacted the way I did. He didn't question anything, he just offered me his love and protection. Why couldn't Carlisle do that?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Carlisle<strong>_

* * *

><p>The line went dead, leaving me sitting in silence in the living room of my apartment. Jimi was sitting a few feet away on the floor playing with blocks, and I didn't have any idea where the fuck Tanya was. Why had I done it? Why had I called Esme? What the hell had possessed me to do it?<p>

Jimi crawled over to me and reached up toward me with his tiny arms. With a small smile, I picked him up. He was the only thing that gave me a reason to smile anymore. Jimi was my entire life now. He was all I had to live for. "Hey little man," I whispered before kissing his forehead.

My son smiled that adorable smile. It was really something to be able to say "my son". It's a big thing for men—having a son to play catch with in the yard and having son to carry on the family name and marry a beautiful girl and give you grandchildren. It was just… an incredible feeling to be able to call someone your child. I loved Esme, but Jimi made her absence bearable. He gave me something to keep myself occupied and not think about her. He was my little Jimi.

Jimi smiled and wrapped his arms around my neck. Just then, the lock on the front door turned, and it swung open. The sound of heels clicking on our wooden floor told me all I needed to know: Tanya was home. "Carlisle!" she shouted.

I turned around from my seat on the touch to see the blond-haired she-devil tossing her purse on the kitchen table. "Where have you been?" I asked, trying not to sound too disappointed at her arrival.

"I went out to buy cigarettes." Tanya had picked up the habit of smoking after Jimi was born. Since then, I refused to let her smoke anywhere around our son. The last straw in this relationship would be if Jimi got lung cancer from sitting too close to Mommy-dearest. If Mommy got lung cancer though, I wouldn't be too upset.

"That's nice," I muttered, bouncing Jimi on my knee. "You've been gone for two hours."

"And you care why?"

"I don't."

"Good."

That was it; Tanya went down into our bedroom and shut the door leaving Jimi and I alone. I couldn't complain. I turned on the TV and put on one of those educational shows that would hopefully teach Jimi to count, use proper English, or speak Spanish. I didn't pay attention to which one was on. My mind was still swarming with thoughts of Esme and her beautiful face, sexy body, melodious voice, and soft hair.

Jimi and I were halfway through some TV show about how to count to one hundred when Tanya came in and turned off the TV. Jimi looked up at her and pouted. "We were watching that," I told her stiffly. I hated her. I hated her especially when she upset my boy.

"It's time for little Jimi to go to bed," Tanya said, leaning down to pick him up.

Before she could touch my son, I stood up and hitched Jimi on the side of my waist. "I'll take him in," I told her. It infuriated me when she tried to act like a mother when she didn't give two fucks about our son.

"You never let me do it!" Tanya growled.

"Because you don't know how to handle children!" I hissed. "I don't trust _anyone_ with Jimi but myself!"

Tanya glared and slapped me across the face.

Jimi started crying. "Oh now you've done it!" I shouted at her before taking Jimi into his room. I put him in his crib gently, trying to soothe him. "It's okay. It's okay," I soothed, petting his head softly. "Everything will be okay. Just try to get some sleep."

Jimi looked up at me with big, sad blue eyes. I didn't want to leave him like this, but I needed to give my wife a piece of my mind.

I shut the door to Jimi's room before going back to the small living room where Tanya still stood. "Why the fuck did you hit me in front of him?!" I shouted. "Why did you hit me when I was _holding_ him?! Did it ever occur to you that you could miss me and hit our son?! Do you know what kind of damage you could do to a baby of that age?!"

Tanya just glared. "I wouldn't have slapped you if you would let me hold our son and take care of him!"

"Your immaturity is why I don't let you handle him! Jimi isn't a toy, or a baby doll! He's a living, breathing baby! When you are holding him, you are holding a life in your hands! This is serious shit, Tanya!" I shouted.

"I know that this is serious!" she shrieked. "I would learn if you would just give me the chance!"

"I can't give you the chance, because I know that you would fuck it up and you would do something to hurt him!"

She stared at me in complete outrage. "I cannot believe you! How _dare_ you accuse me of doing anything to hurt our son!"

I glared at her and just sat on the couch. "Look, I'm not arguing with you, Tanya. I'm not in the mood to fight with you over this. I don't trust you with Jimi so get used to it. When he gets older, you can take care of him, but right now, I'll be the housewife."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Esme<strong>_

* * *

><p>Charles spent the night at my house. We didn't have sex after Carlisle's call, but he didn't leave me alone. He stayed with me, and took care of me. I ended up pouring my heart out to him that night. I told him everything. I told him all about Carlisle and Tanya. I told him about everything that had happened, and he just listened.<p>

He didn't leave. He stayed with me no matter what.

In July, we got married. I walked down the aisle and looked into his eyes and felt… good. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with this man… but Carlisle was still there, haunting me. Would I ever escape him?


	12. Update

**Update**

Hi, guys. This is an update for all my fanfictions. Bascially I have been very busy lately. School is coming to an end and on May 31, I will be out, but until then, I've been swamped with homework and all sorts of other good things. My plea is for you all not to worry. I'm alive, I'm writing when I can, and I will finish my three main fanfictions: Salvation, Someone Like You, and The One That Got Away eventually. I will not stop writing them—I have invested too much into them to abandon them—so please don't think I've stopped.

If I ever do decide to stop—which I won't—I will most likely post an Author's Note explaining that I am stopping and why, but that will never happen as long as I have the power to keep writing.

Thank you for waiting patiently. I am extremely apologetic for the lack of updates. Please bear with me.

Thank you.

Lots of love,

Warrior


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